Anthem of a Broken Heart

~ by Julie Kruse

If there were words to make you stay

I wouldn't watch you walk away

But as I try to turn the tide

Even lying eyes can't hide

The anthem of a broken heart

It's not the lonely nights I fear

Or waking up without you here

It's all the memories I can't clear

And the anthem of a broken heart

With every tear I'm learning how

To feel the pain this time around

But there's no song to sing that drowns

The anthem of a broken heart

I wish that I could describe

The way I feel so deep inside

The time has come, I know the signs

To sing the anthem of a broken heart

The eyes can't hide the look of pain

The ears can't stop the sound of rain

As I hold you close I start to hear

The anthem of a broken heart

If you could see the way I feel

The love inside my heart is real

The past is gone, let's take a chance

Together we can heal...

the anthem of a broken heart

South Dakota

~ Sometimes the end makes me think of the beginning...and everything in between. When I think too much, I write. Just have to get it all out somehow. ~

Well, I hope you miss me, South Dakota....cuz' I'll sure be missin' you. We've been through a lot together. I was not fond of you at seventeen when I was unwillingly transplanted from my birth country, the beautiful Brazil. But you have to understand, you were such a far cry from the beaches of Brazil. I think I knew two country songs when I moved here and didn't care much to listen to the rest. I think it's fair to say: "I've come a long way." Literally.

My skin felt like an alligator in the Sahara desert. Coming from the humidity of Brazil where I never needed lotion, I now used bottles and bottles to keep my skin hydrated. I learned that flip-flops have their time and place, but don't mix well with cactus and yucca plants. And trying to find a "sandy beach" to lay on can just be flat out disappointing. White River mud is as good as it gets, I'm afraid.

But there is a reason why you're called "America's Heartland." You are home to most of my precious and wonderful family and I have found so many irreplaceable friends across your land. There is nothing quite like a clear summer night sky in the Badlands, where you can see every star in the Milky Way & where shooting stars look like God's fireworks display. It makes you never want to look down again. The sunsets you display are some of the best. Your gravel roads have soaked up my tears on many walks I've taken over the years. And if all of the wildlife on your prairies could speak, they would tell you all of the heartfelt prayers I've cried out heavenward when I was far enough from any other human being. Your wide open spaces seem to stretch out endlessly over rolling hills. I love the peace and quiet of the country where you can hear the birds sing and feel the sometimes not-so-gentle wind.

People that have never stayed long enough to give you a chance don't understand, maybe part of the reason why you are so sparsely populated. But I love that about you. Your best kept secrets are only shown to those who see with their hearts. And I had to learn the hard way that sometimes my heart had to be broken open to let love inside.

I will never understand how girls around here can be so scared of a spider the size of a quarter, and yet can wrestle a calf in no time flat. And the guys around here still don't know what to do with a beach girl from Brazil gone country. It's quite a combination really.

It didn't happen overnight, but you finally won me over. And anyone who knows me well can tell you that is quite a feat. So really, you should be quite proud of yourself for winning a stubborn heart like mine that had no intention of falling for you.

I still feel that, for me, "home" will be reserved for a man's heart that makes me feel that comfortable. But unknowingly, I have let the word slip when speaking of you. And lucky for you, once you have my heart, it's yours forever. And you know, it wouldn't take much to make me stay...

Kelly & Lavonne's Wedding

I made this....

finished!
before paint
workspace
drilling

and the wedding season begins...

Mike and Mikki Gubka's wedding! Loved it...I had so much fun!!!

cousin & friend

Sarah came to see me last weekend! We went shopping in Sioux Falls, went out to eat at Spezia (an Italian restaurtant), had some Starbucks and much needed girl talk....great weekend!!!

Love you, mean it...

LOVE

Don’t say you love me, because there is a way to show someone love without ever speaking the words. It still amazes me how love can be known without ever saying it. The words “I love you” mean nothing without some strong actions to back it up.

I don’t know why I’m thinking about love, because I’ve actually become very skeptical of it in my own life. I see that others have found it, but doubt if I will. Ever. I have become comfortable without it, but somehow there is still that glimmer of hope that someday…(I’m not saying nobody loves me…I know there are people that love me…I’m talking about the love between a man and a woman ~ the kind that is so rare ~ the “til’ death do us part” ~ only happens in the movies ~ or in someone else’s life ~ kind of love ~ not the kind that “completes” you, but the kind that makes two separate individuals better together than they are apart from each other ~ the kind that inspires ~ the kind that lights up your face when you see them ~ does it exist? I don’t know if it will in my life, but I didn’t hold out this long just to settle.

Love requires two people to be effective. One-sided love never works. There has to be a giver and a recipient. One person can love another so much, but if that person does not receive it or shuts that person out, the love will not be felt and can have no impact on that person’s life.

This makes me wonder about God’s love. He is the only One who loves us perfectly. He loves us more than we can understand! I still can’t wrap my mind around this concept. He gave His life and conquered the grave so that I can LIVE ETERNALLY. Amazing! I don’t understand it. John 10:10 ~ I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. So, why do I not feel loved by God sometimes? Is it because I am pushing Him away…am I not allowing Him to love me? Can I not accept the fact that He actually loves me even with all my sin, and my faults, and my brokenness? If I am not accepting His love….I am not believing that God’s Word is true! The Bible from cover to cover is a Love Story of God’s love for us. And it doesn’t stop there…look around you. I believe that God wants to show us every day in our lives that He loves us. Open your eyes. Look for it. Let Him show you. Believe it. Know it.

Ephesians 3:17-19 ...And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power...to grasp how WIDE and LONG and DEEP is the LOVE of CHRIST, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge....